Too Elementary

One of the questions I get asked the most when someone finds out that I'm a priest is, "Do you ever get nervous when you have to preach?"  I still remember preparing for my  first sermon.  I was so nervous, I forgot to close the door when I left the house that morning.  Now, I have certainly come a long way since then and have quite a bit more confidence when I preach, but there is still a bit of apprehension that I think may be there to stay.

I often ask myself why I have such apprehension.  Over a period of time, I have come to realize that the apprehension I feel is a good thing.  It ensures that I think carefully before I go in front of the congregation to speak on God's Word.  Once I say something in a sermon, I cannot un-say it.  Those words are out there for everyone to hear and have a chance of affecting the lives of those who hear them, either positively or negatively.  That's quite a responsibility and one I take seriously.

But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this is what defiles. ¹⁹For out of the heart come evil intentions, murder, adultery, fornication, theft, false witness, slander. ²⁰These are what defile a person. -Matthew 15:18-20a

The apprehension doesn't come from a fear that I may be preaching with evil intentions.  The apprehension is born out of a fear that I may be preaching too much my own intentions and not allowing God's voice to come through.  As I said, however, I believe this apprehension is good, and I welcome its presence.  This apprehension has bled over into blogging and brought along a little something extra.

While I know that my sermons are recorded and posted online, that aspect of preaching is not at the forefront of my thoughts when preparing a sermon.  When I'm blogging, though, I am constantly confronted with the fact that I have posted a blog prior to the one I'm currently writing.  As I continue to mature in my theological understanding, will I one day look back on my early blog posts and shudder at some elementary observation that I once thought was revelatory?  A fellow priest blogger expressed a similar concern, but she also gave a reminder that we are all a work in progress.  As such, we should all strive to be the best we can be now, and rejoice when we find ourselves sometime in the future even better.